Post by Alexander Nevermind on Feb 14, 2005 23:20:28 GMT -5
Hello once more and again Pro Wrestling fans & friends! Roving reporter Alexander NEVERmind in your midst with a late breaking show result! For those of you fortunate enough to beat the JB Arena, in the city of Hanceville Alabama yesterday afternoon, you know that the SUPERSTARS of Ultimate NWA tore it up! This show capped off an totally incredible 3rd. aniversary for the amazing independent giant, and I for one was glad to be apart of it! Alot went on and if you were not there after I finish you will be literally kicking yourself! Time for a little less talk, and a lot more action, so lets do some match reviews folks!!!!!
Match 1. KG vs. Tito Chalupa
Some 200lb. piece of crap in a 100lb. bag came out to the ring and put down the crowd on hand, of course the crowd got on his case and that didn't help matters any. I never got his name and really why would I want it?! I just call the turd Tito Chalupa. The music hit and a wrestler named KG( don't ask me what that stands for) but the crowd on hand liked him so whatever! This one see-sawed back and forth and both guys got two counts from GCW Deputy Referee- on- loan Nick "Timmay" Feldman. Both men went for the next level and went airborn and hit each other with dropkicks and top rope clotheslines. After some horse trading , this one ended with a roll up 3, off of a botched suplex attempt from Taco Bell guy! Winner : KG
Match II. Yaki vs The INhuman Fly
The music hit and The INhuman Fly reported to the ring as two of his biggest fans cheered at the top of their lungs! he grabbed the stick and announced to the crowd his displeasure of having to wrestle in Hanceville as over half the people in the crowd were stupid. The music hit and the UNWA resident Luchadore, YAKI reported to the ring ready for beat some "Salsa" out of the "Green One"! Referee Feldman worked hard, but even if he blinked too much, this one was gonna be over fast! Both men traded high risk manuvers as the fans cheered both men on. At one point Yaki even flipped off the top corner and landed on his feet as the crowd was totally stunned It seemed that there was no clear winner in sight, until the music hit and the mysterious Voodoo man from San Monique, known only as MUDBONE walked down to the ringside area. After scaring the children at ringside, who I'm sure are gonna have nightmares for weeks, the Voodoo man waited like a buzzard on a post fence for his chance to do his deviltry! He didn't have to wait long as Yaki went sailing over the top rope to the floor after the Fly ducked a cross body attempt. As Yaki collected himself and climbed back onto the apron, Mudbone snatched him down and beat the Luchadore as The Fly was literally arguing with Feldman who saw nothing. In the middle of the fighting, MUDBONE grabbed the Luchadore and threw a Voodoo Fire Ball into the eyes of Yaki, who couldn't see because of the flash. He somehow climbed back in the ring, but fell victim to the Fly's patented MAGGOT Sandwich . Winner : INhuman Fly.
Match III. Chris Lee v. "Action" Mike Jackson(Alabama Jr. Heavyweight Title Match)
Chris Lee reported to the ring. He then "CALLED OUT" Jackson( Youth will never learn!).
Music hit and "Action" Mike Jackson came out as the crowd went wild! As he crawled under the rope, Lee took this oppurtunity to stomp him flat! Then reality set in and Jackson got to his feet! Lee had a tiger by the tail, as the 55 year young Jackson tore him apart! With back elbows and chops and technical work,Lee looked like the guy in the corner of the classroom with a "Dunce" cap on! Lee tried to get back in the game with some offense, but it was basically all Jackson 101. This one was all but over till Adam Armor came out to ringside and climbed on the apron to complain. Jackson wheeled around and gave Armor a left arm shot that knocked him to the floor. As Jackson turned around he was met with a slam from Lee,as he went for a "LIONSAULT"but only got two. The two men fought to the outside and as Jackson picked up Lee for a suplex into the ring, Armor grabbed the leg of Jackson and held it down as the ref counted 3. The two men grabbed the belt and ran for the tall timber as Jackson grabbed the stick and promissed revenge at the next show in Moulton Alabama! Winner: Chris Lee
That took us to break where Mike Jackson signed autographs .
The music hit and "Bad Attitude" Adam Roberts and Adam Armor, (who I officially dub, the Adam's Family) came out and guaranteed the victory for their team for the Tag Belts, as well as victory for Steve Pleazing who would be defending the Heavyweight strap in the main event! The crowd booed them out of the building!
Match IV. "Maddog" Dan Sawyer v. T.C. Carnage( Dog Collar match)
Music hit and TC Carnage reported to the ring and got no love from the fans. The music hit and Sawyer hit the ring with the collar already around his neck and ready to fight. Reluctancy, Carnage finally wiped off his yellow streak and put the collar on. From there it went bezerk, as Sawyer( Obviously the Master at the match) beat the less experienced man to a pulp. Both men used the chain to their advantage as they choked each other out. As the match neared the end, music hit and MUDBONE and the INhuman Fly raced at ringside holding a skull with a bandana on! They hit the ring and the three men beat Sawyer like he stole 5 bucks from GCW Senior Official- on- loan Birney Kawnawitz's pocket. As MUDBONE reached into his hat for another Voodoo Fireball, a chair wielding YAKI hit the ring and the three men scattered like cockroaches! Sawyer recovered and promissed revenge on MUDBONE and the FLY! Winner: Thrown out
Match V. Billy Ray Grant /w. Smooth Pleazing v. Zero- X
Smooth Pleazing came out next and grabbed the stick to introduce Grant. Obviously Versace was on vacation judging by Smooth's suit. The music hit and Zero-X hit the ring . This one Got out of hand as Grant didn't have the high flying skills to keep up up with the ZERO one. However the power game went to Grant. The end came when Grant used Smooth's "Serena Williams tool of destruction" when the ref wasn't lookin on Zero for the three. Winner: Billy Ray Grant
VI. Fist Full of $/w. Howard Cross v. The Adam's Family v. The Alabama Boys (Tag Team Title Match)
The Champs, Theodore Tutweiler III and "Outlaw" Rastas Polk came out first as Cross was carrying the "Stupid Hanceville Help Education Fund" box, wheras he claimed that 15% of the proceedes would go to help educate the kids of Hanceville. The music hit and The Adam's Family hit the ring ready for battle. The music hit and the crowd went wild as "Wild Thing" Will Owens and Cecil Pleazing came out to complete the trifecta. Attitudes and Moves flared like wildfire as all three teams tried to outdo each other.While Cross and Roberts were arguing, outside, Robert's partner got pinned by Owens for the three, Kawanawitz sent Roberts and Armor packing as the match continued. From there it was all Alabama Boys as Owens and Pleazing put on a 100 % showing. Tutweiler took control of the match ,. As it looked dim for Owens, a misque where, Polk accidently branded his partner's forehead with his branding iron as Owens ducked to safety. This brought in Pleazing who was a house of fire! As he took out both men, Cross handed the branding iron to Tutweiler who hit an unsuspecting Owens in the back, then rolled him up for the 3. Winner: Fist Full Of Dollars
Match VII. Steve Pleazing/w Destiny vs. Bull Horton( Heavyweight title on the line!)
The music hit and Steve Pleazing and his main squeeze Destiny came out .. After a bit of showmanship on his part, the music hit again and the 400lb. monster that is Bull Horton walked to the ring for his shot at greatness! The music hit again, and the entire Adam's Family came out, they then took some seats from the crowd and sat down directly in front of the ring. Things looked dim for Horton, but the music hit again and the crowd cheered as "Bomber" Jack Lord and the "Big Easy" came out and tossed the Adam's family out of the ringside area. The bell rang, and 5 seconds later, Pleazing wished it hadn't as the power of Horton literally dominated the match! Pleazing couldn't even get the beast off his feet. After Pleazing took more than one slam and Powerbomb from Horton, Destiny could be silent no longer. While Kawanawitz's back was turned, she mounted the top rope and went for a high cross body on Horton, but got caught, as the crowd dialed 911 because they knew she was gonna need an ambulance, Horton shocked everybody by setting Destiny on the apron and "Ordering" her not to interfere again! Which she obeyed( she probably needed another pair of underwear, but she didn't get hurt!). Horton turned his attention back to the match and Pleazing tried to mount some more offense, but it wasn't working at all. As Horton went fot the 3, The entire locker room raced for the ring, but Lord and Easy cut them off at the pass, this resulted in an outside the ring BATTLE ROYAL! As bodies were literally flying all over the Arena and the fans running for their lives, The Adam's family hit the ring and attacked both men! Kawanawitz threw the match out and Pleazing was declared the winner. Horton climbed out of the ring and grabbed the bell and the belt! He tossed the bell into the cheap seats, then got into the ring and gave Pleazing his belt and shook his hand as the crowd went wild and the show drew to a close!
Fans if you missed this one kick yourself now. I can't wait for the Moulton Alabama show because the action was off the chain! I enjoyed reportin, hope you enjoyed readin, till next time remember, if it was good fine, but if it was bad, NEVERMIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Alexander Nevermind-
Roving Reporter
Match 1. KG vs. Tito Chalupa
Some 200lb. piece of crap in a 100lb. bag came out to the ring and put down the crowd on hand, of course the crowd got on his case and that didn't help matters any. I never got his name and really why would I want it?! I just call the turd Tito Chalupa. The music hit and a wrestler named KG( don't ask me what that stands for) but the crowd on hand liked him so whatever! This one see-sawed back and forth and both guys got two counts from GCW Deputy Referee- on- loan Nick "Timmay" Feldman. Both men went for the next level and went airborn and hit each other with dropkicks and top rope clotheslines. After some horse trading , this one ended with a roll up 3, off of a botched suplex attempt from Taco Bell guy! Winner : KG
Match II. Yaki vs The INhuman Fly
The music hit and The INhuman Fly reported to the ring as two of his biggest fans cheered at the top of their lungs! he grabbed the stick and announced to the crowd his displeasure of having to wrestle in Hanceville as over half the people in the crowd were stupid. The music hit and the UNWA resident Luchadore, YAKI reported to the ring ready for beat some "Salsa" out of the "Green One"! Referee Feldman worked hard, but even if he blinked too much, this one was gonna be over fast! Both men traded high risk manuvers as the fans cheered both men on. At one point Yaki even flipped off the top corner and landed on his feet as the crowd was totally stunned It seemed that there was no clear winner in sight, until the music hit and the mysterious Voodoo man from San Monique, known only as MUDBONE walked down to the ringside area. After scaring the children at ringside, who I'm sure are gonna have nightmares for weeks, the Voodoo man waited like a buzzard on a post fence for his chance to do his deviltry! He didn't have to wait long as Yaki went sailing over the top rope to the floor after the Fly ducked a cross body attempt. As Yaki collected himself and climbed back onto the apron, Mudbone snatched him down and beat the Luchadore as The Fly was literally arguing with Feldman who saw nothing. In the middle of the fighting, MUDBONE grabbed the Luchadore and threw a Voodoo Fire Ball into the eyes of Yaki, who couldn't see because of the flash. He somehow climbed back in the ring, but fell victim to the Fly's patented MAGGOT Sandwich . Winner : INhuman Fly.
Match III. Chris Lee v. "Action" Mike Jackson(Alabama Jr. Heavyweight Title Match)
Chris Lee reported to the ring. He then "CALLED OUT" Jackson( Youth will never learn!).
Music hit and "Action" Mike Jackson came out as the crowd went wild! As he crawled under the rope, Lee took this oppurtunity to stomp him flat! Then reality set in and Jackson got to his feet! Lee had a tiger by the tail, as the 55 year young Jackson tore him apart! With back elbows and chops and technical work,Lee looked like the guy in the corner of the classroom with a "Dunce" cap on! Lee tried to get back in the game with some offense, but it was basically all Jackson 101. This one was all but over till Adam Armor came out to ringside and climbed on the apron to complain. Jackson wheeled around and gave Armor a left arm shot that knocked him to the floor. As Jackson turned around he was met with a slam from Lee,as he went for a "LIONSAULT"but only got two. The two men fought to the outside and as Jackson picked up Lee for a suplex into the ring, Armor grabbed the leg of Jackson and held it down as the ref counted 3. The two men grabbed the belt and ran for the tall timber as Jackson grabbed the stick and promissed revenge at the next show in Moulton Alabama! Winner: Chris Lee
That took us to break where Mike Jackson signed autographs .
The music hit and "Bad Attitude" Adam Roberts and Adam Armor, (who I officially dub, the Adam's Family) came out and guaranteed the victory for their team for the Tag Belts, as well as victory for Steve Pleazing who would be defending the Heavyweight strap in the main event! The crowd booed them out of the building!
Match IV. "Maddog" Dan Sawyer v. T.C. Carnage( Dog Collar match)
Music hit and TC Carnage reported to the ring and got no love from the fans. The music hit and Sawyer hit the ring with the collar already around his neck and ready to fight. Reluctancy, Carnage finally wiped off his yellow streak and put the collar on. From there it went bezerk, as Sawyer( Obviously the Master at the match) beat the less experienced man to a pulp. Both men used the chain to their advantage as they choked each other out. As the match neared the end, music hit and MUDBONE and the INhuman Fly raced at ringside holding a skull with a bandana on! They hit the ring and the three men beat Sawyer like he stole 5 bucks from GCW Senior Official- on- loan Birney Kawnawitz's pocket. As MUDBONE reached into his hat for another Voodoo Fireball, a chair wielding YAKI hit the ring and the three men scattered like cockroaches! Sawyer recovered and promissed revenge on MUDBONE and the FLY! Winner: Thrown out
Match V. Billy Ray Grant /w. Smooth Pleazing v. Zero- X
Smooth Pleazing came out next and grabbed the stick to introduce Grant. Obviously Versace was on vacation judging by Smooth's suit. The music hit and Zero-X hit the ring . This one Got out of hand as Grant didn't have the high flying skills to keep up up with the ZERO one. However the power game went to Grant. The end came when Grant used Smooth's "Serena Williams tool of destruction" when the ref wasn't lookin on Zero for the three. Winner: Billy Ray Grant
VI. Fist Full of $/w. Howard Cross v. The Adam's Family v. The Alabama Boys (Tag Team Title Match)
The Champs, Theodore Tutweiler III and "Outlaw" Rastas Polk came out first as Cross was carrying the "Stupid Hanceville Help Education Fund" box, wheras he claimed that 15% of the proceedes would go to help educate the kids of Hanceville. The music hit and The Adam's Family hit the ring ready for battle. The music hit and the crowd went wild as "Wild Thing" Will Owens and Cecil Pleazing came out to complete the trifecta. Attitudes and Moves flared like wildfire as all three teams tried to outdo each other.While Cross and Roberts were arguing, outside, Robert's partner got pinned by Owens for the three, Kawanawitz sent Roberts and Armor packing as the match continued. From there it was all Alabama Boys as Owens and Pleazing put on a 100 % showing. Tutweiler took control of the match ,. As it looked dim for Owens, a misque where, Polk accidently branded his partner's forehead with his branding iron as Owens ducked to safety. This brought in Pleazing who was a house of fire! As he took out both men, Cross handed the branding iron to Tutweiler who hit an unsuspecting Owens in the back, then rolled him up for the 3. Winner: Fist Full Of Dollars
Match VII. Steve Pleazing/w Destiny vs. Bull Horton( Heavyweight title on the line!)
The music hit and Steve Pleazing and his main squeeze Destiny came out .. After a bit of showmanship on his part, the music hit again and the 400lb. monster that is Bull Horton walked to the ring for his shot at greatness! The music hit again, and the entire Adam's Family came out, they then took some seats from the crowd and sat down directly in front of the ring. Things looked dim for Horton, but the music hit again and the crowd cheered as "Bomber" Jack Lord and the "Big Easy" came out and tossed the Adam's family out of the ringside area. The bell rang, and 5 seconds later, Pleazing wished it hadn't as the power of Horton literally dominated the match! Pleazing couldn't even get the beast off his feet. After Pleazing took more than one slam and Powerbomb from Horton, Destiny could be silent no longer. While Kawanawitz's back was turned, she mounted the top rope and went for a high cross body on Horton, but got caught, as the crowd dialed 911 because they knew she was gonna need an ambulance, Horton shocked everybody by setting Destiny on the apron and "Ordering" her not to interfere again! Which she obeyed( she probably needed another pair of underwear, but she didn't get hurt!). Horton turned his attention back to the match and Pleazing tried to mount some more offense, but it wasn't working at all. As Horton went fot the 3, The entire locker room raced for the ring, but Lord and Easy cut them off at the pass, this resulted in an outside the ring BATTLE ROYAL! As bodies were literally flying all over the Arena and the fans running for their lives, The Adam's family hit the ring and attacked both men! Kawanawitz threw the match out and Pleazing was declared the winner. Horton climbed out of the ring and grabbed the bell and the belt! He tossed the bell into the cheap seats, then got into the ring and gave Pleazing his belt and shook his hand as the crowd went wild and the show drew to a close!
Fans if you missed this one kick yourself now. I can't wait for the Moulton Alabama show because the action was off the chain! I enjoyed reportin, hope you enjoyed readin, till next time remember, if it was good fine, but if it was bad, NEVERMIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Alexander Nevermind-
Roving Reporter
